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+# Leaving Trustroots Volunteering
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+**TLDR**; I've decided to leave Trustroots volunteering because I want to put my focus and energy elsewhere.
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+I remain a member of Trustroots community.
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+
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+## Looking back
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+I first contributed code to Trustroots in June 2016. It was a [bugfix](https://github.com/Trustroots/trustroots/pull/361) in randomization of user location.
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+Since then I took part for example in:
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+- statistics
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+- migration of frontend to React
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+- i18n (internalization)
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+- references
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+- small features and bugfixes
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+- summer hackathon in Berlin in 2017
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+- winter collective at the end of 2018
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+- spring hackathon in 2020
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+- dreaming about more community-driven Trustroots
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+
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+During this time i made 81 commits to master (grouped per 5 weeks):
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+
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+```
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+ .
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+ .
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+ .
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+ . .
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+ . . . .
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+ . . . . . .
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+ . . . . . . .
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+ . . . . . . . .
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+ . . . . . . . . .
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+ . . . . . . . . .
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+ . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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+. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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+2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2
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+0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
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+1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 2 2
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+6 6 6 6 6 6 6 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 0 0 0 0 0 0
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+- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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+0 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0
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+5 6 8 9 0 1 2 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 2 1 2 3 4 5 7 8 9 0 1 2 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 1 2 1 2 3 4 6 7
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+- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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+2 2 0 0 1 1 1 2 2 0 0 1 1 2 2 3 0 0 1 1 2 2 0 0 1 1 1 2 2 0 0 1 1 2 2 3 0 0 1 1 2 2 0 0
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+3 7 1 5 0 4 9 3 7 3 8 2 7 1 5 0 4 8 2 9 3 8 2 6 0 5 9 4 8 4 8 3 7 2 6 0 4 9 3 7 3 7 1 6
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+```
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+
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+You can read my very personal account on volunteering for this network below:
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+
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+### Beginnings
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+I joined Trustroots in December 2014. Folks from hitchwiki hosted me and [Talita](https://www.trustroots.org/profile/smarkaty) in Antalya on hitchwiki hackathon. Mikael, Arthur and Rémi were about to launch Trustroots.
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+
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+### Inspiration
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+At that time I wanted to create a social network. You would find people who cared about the same things as you, you would start collaborating, and the world would become a better place.
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+I liked Trustroots a lot. So I simply copied many Trustroots features.
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+I didn't understand that a social network needed people. After years of development, I abandoned the project, reaching about 5 members. I learned _a lot_.
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+[ditup.org](https://ditup.org): Do it together, start it up!
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+### Contributing
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+I fixed a bug in Trustroots in 2016. Months later, somebody, probably Mikael, asked me whether I would work on statistics. I said yes.
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+Went to hackathon in Berlin, met people from yunity and Trustroots. I stayed connected with a subgroup of yunity, now centered around [Kanthaus](https://kanthaus.online).
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+Contributed some more. Not being inspired, I decided to never make any decisions or take power. I only coded.
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+Went with Talita to a collective in Spain in fall 2018. Met with Abel, Kasper and others. I had a pleasure to collaborate with Abel. I also enjoyed getting to know Kasper who had been a mythical figure for me (hitchwiki, trashwiki, nomadwiki). I don't remember him being active in Trustroots before, but this time he was here and had a lot of ideas about what Trustroots could become. After the collective, Kasper disappeared again for over a year.
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+Around that time I hoped Trustroots could help refugees get help on their way. I was told (in now defunct forum by I don't know whom) this would be possible only after Trustroots was translated and Tribes (now Circles) were more evolved. I didn't argue, but started working on translations, along with React migration.
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+
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+### Dreaming
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+Mikael Korpela, who had been the main force and authority behind Trustroots, started having less time for Trustroots.
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+Then Nick Sellen came back to Trustroots and I was very happy with the direction we as a community took. I didn't have my own vision, but Nick's vision resonated with me. These were, vaguely, hopes for more community-driven Trustroots, in which founders would gradually give up their power and authority and we would govern ourselves in peer to peer way, with power more equally distributed.
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+[Nick left Trustroots](https://gist.github.com/nicksellen/3b299c2513e3be9b1caf8f340543cda6) and some of this vision may have left with him. I hope some of it stays. I can't say since I haven't been around.
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+### Burning out
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+During the first pandemia lockdown, I became isolated and unhappy. The Spring 2020 Hackathon took place. I participated, but the remains of my energy got depleted.
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+- I stopped working on Trustroots.
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+- I stopped coding.
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+- I lost all excitement.
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+- I was tired.
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+- I was burned out.
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+It took me 3 months of cycling around, sleeping outdoors, very little computer and no coding to recover and get excited about life again.
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+And here we are. I don't want to make the world a better place by coding anymore. I don't think this medium works for me.
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+I still think Trustroots is a great example of a web application which helps us be more together, in real world. That might be the only _together_ that matters.
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+I left unfinished stuff. Especially the React migration and translations were only half way done. I'm not going to finish it.
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+There were many new people involved in Trustroots during the 2020 Hackathon. It gave me a hope but I didn't stay around to get to know them better.
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+
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+## Why I volunteered for Trustroots
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+I used and enjoyed Trustroots, but I didn't feel very excited about working on it. I did it so I wouldn't go mad working on stuff that I found more meaningful and exciting but much more likely to fail.
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+I also learned a lot. Thanks to Trustroots I got fluent in React, learned to collaborate on a major open source project, and could also take credits for some of it (useful when applying for a developer job).
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+## Why I'm leaving
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+I experienced programming burn-out.
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+I want to put my energy elsewhere.
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+## What I'm up to
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+A cause worth spending next 10 years of my life:
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+_Every (young) person knows that school is bad for them, that they don't have to go to school and what they can do instead._ In other words _promoting unschooling and self-directed education among people who currently go to school_.
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+## My hopes and wishes for Trustroots
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+I wish Trustroots:
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+- is non-hierarchical.
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+- connect refugees and people who offer their homes and help to refugees.
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+- is decentralized over [Solid](https://solidproject.org).
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+
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+## My wishes for you
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+I wish you:
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+- trust yourself.
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+- question authority.
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+- meet with me.
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+
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+> Life is essentially meaningless, therefore we are free.
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+
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+## Disclaimer
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+Maybe I'll edit this article later.
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